Having followed Trixie and her character development from the very first season, I know fans likely share my distress at seeing the Aylward marriage hit a snag in Episode 4. The question of Trixie's responsibility toward her job as well as her family comes into contention. I can imagine that fellow midwives are familiar with this issue of balancing being a midwife, a wife, and a mother at the same time.

When the couple gets into an argument, Trixie laments, “Can’t I do both?” to which Matthew replies, “Only you can decide.”

The struggle is real. Unlike newlyweds Matthew and Trixie, my husband and I had been married for ten years before I became a midwife. I confess he was not excited about my plan to go back to school to get the necessary training and credentials. But, by then, he had learned the futility of arguing with a spouse who was determined to pursue her vocation. “I am called to do this,” I entreated. Subsequently, he adjusted our budget to accommodate my tuition and the loss of my income while I was in school. Additionally, he took on the additional household tasks and care of our young daughter.

While at a professional midwifery conference one time, I bought my husband a bumper sticker that read, “It takes a real man to live with a midwife.” It is revealing that there is a market among midwives for such a sentiment. Despite not knowing exactly what it takes to be a “real man,” I can say with some authority that it takes someone who is very patient and special.

Once I was in practice, the long hours sometimes took their toll. Clinic days and being on-call all the time were challenging. There were times I did not see my family for two or three days. At one point, I realized that I may have been complaining too much about my job. One year, while on vacation, my daughter made a startling comment. Sitting with her in a Paris café, taking in the iconic scene and pastries, I sighed and told her, “I could stay here forever.”

“Of course you could. You hate your job, and you have no friends,” she retorted. Ouch!

A short time after that, I decided to change jobs and I was able to continue being a midwife with a less demanding schedule. It made a difference in my attitude and my family. My daughter chose me as her hero for an assigned high school essay. All the swimming meets, holidays, and school events I missed while attending births suddenly had new meaning. The message about the importance of women and childbearing had been heard. I was proud of the example I set for my daughter.

The rewards and challenges of being a midwife must continually be considered and balanced. Matthew is right. Each midwife must decide for themselves how they will do it. What will Trixie decide?