As midwives, we are privileged to care for women during some of their most vulnerable times. Pregnancy and childbirth can be joyous, but it can also come with a lot of fears and concerns. Becoming a parent, or adding to a family, can remarkably change the dynamic of one’s life. Once we have established a relationship with our patients, they often feel comfortable opening up to us in a way that they may not be able to with other healthcare providers. I do feel that women should be able to be open and honest with all of their healthcare providers, but I also understand that women routinely face judgment or have their concerns dismissed by many healthcare providers.

In this episode, Lindy Webster is pregnant with her second baby and is seeing Nurse Crane for the first time. Initially, she’s nervous to share that she’s not married. She and her boyfriend Melvin already have one child together, their daughter, Danielle. Nurse Crane quickly puts Lindy at ease by letting her know that it would take a lot more than being an unmarried mother to shock her and that it was not her place to judge. Through more open discussion, Lindy tells Nurse Crane that she often feels more like Danielle’s sister than her mother. Lindy and Melvin both grew up in foster care, so they did not have examples of parenthood to mirror their own lives afterward. They want their children to grow up in a loving home and have things that they didn’t have, but they’re struggling to figure out how to do so.

I think this episode beautifully portrays how a midwife or trusted healthcare provider can help women realize their potential. The Nonnatus House midwives take the time to get to know Lindy, and although at times they are a little blunt with her about the need to “grow up” and take responsibility, they know that she deeply loves her children. They believe that with some assistance and guidance, Lindy and Melvin can be the wonderful, loving parents that they had never experienced for themselves.

Once again, we also see that the midwives are available to support their patients while undergoing a difficult diagnosis. Even though Lindy’s daughters, Danielle and new baby Michelle, are not under the care of the midwives, Sister Veronica still shows up to the hospital to provide moral support when she suspects they will be getting a difficult diagnosis. I regularly see how much this type of supportive care makes a difference to families. Even when my patients have to transfer care because of a high-risk situation, it means so much to them when the midwives stay involved, even if it is just for labor support or simply to check in on their physical and mental well-being.

This episode also left us worried about the future of May Turner. During the trip to the seaside, May has a near-drowning accident when she and Angela decide that one of them will take a dip on their little floating lounger. When Shelagh and Patrick were unable to find May, I could almost feel their panic like it was my own. I can remember two instances when swimming with my kids when they were younger when one accidentally jumped into the pool without his lifejacket on (thankfully into a very shallow part, and I was just feet away) and another time when my middle son fell off an inner tube and also briefly went under water. We were lucky that we were both close by when those events happened, and my kids were fine, but that sheer panic and adrenaline when you see your child go underwater is absolutely terrifying. The thing is, we know that Shelagh and Patrick are wonderful, attentive, loving parents. Any parent can make mistakes or can look away for a few moments, and disaster can strike.

I can understand how Shelagh and Patrick may not have been watching the girls that closely. They are a little older, and sometimes we get complacent thinking that our kids “know better” or understand how to stay safe and out of trouble. Since we are moving into the warmer months here, I’ll leave you with a great tip I read once from Susie Allison, aka @busytoddler on Instagram. She and her husband use the airline pilot protocol when it comes to watching their kids in busy or potentially dangerous areas, like around water. When pilots and copilots are flying a plane and switching off who is in control, one of them will say “Your airplane” and then the other has to respond “My airplane” so that both parties are understanding and clear about who is in control of the plane. You can do this with your kids as well, saying “Your Benji and Theo!” and waiting for the response of “My Benji and Theo!” before trusting that the other parent has eyes on those kids. It’s very easy to assume that the other parent is watching, but this quick and easy strategy can be used anytime you want to make sure you’re both well aware of who should be keeping tabs on the kids. Much like the midwives supporting Lindy and Melvin, we can all use a little guidance and support from each other, no matter how seasoned we are as parents. Overall, this episode of Call the Midwife captures the emotional waves that come with the territory of midwifery and parenthood, showing us the challenges, triumphs, and bonds formed along the way.