Holiday Special Marathon Starts Nov. 25
Modern Midwives Blog
The invitations are out! As Trixie and Matthew’s wedding approaches, I think of the parallels between wedding planning and planning for a birth. It is decidedly midwife-like to analog birth to almost any other creative human endeavor. In my youth, “She is expecting,” was used to politely signal pregnancy, but all new beginnings are full of expectation.
Recently I met with my niece and her fiancé to help plan their wedding ceremony. I was reminded of the times I sat with families during prenatal visits to listen to their plans for labor and birth. In both settings, I advised flexibility, reviewed options, and made suggestions focusing on individualizing the experience to meet their needs. I am as honored that this young couple asked me to officiate their wedding as when families trusted me as their midwife. Wedding officiant seems such a natural extension of the skills of midwifery. Weddings and births are such important transitions in family life. I knew the importance of meaningful family rituals at birth. Ritual creates importance and bond to the transition. It marks a doorway from what was to what is to be. Arranging for a family member to cut the umbilical cord or a pause so a Muslim family can whisper Adhan into a newborn’s ear is as important as the plan for selected readings at a wedding.
At its core this episode is about family: the ones we are born into, those we find, and the family we seek to create. And it’s about the choices we make that create family. As Trixie plans her own wedding, she is surrounded by her supportive midwife family. What good and trusty hands with which she is embraced.
I calculate this will be the sixth Nonnatus House family wedding. It is equally midwife-like to compile statistics. How well I remember going through the birth logs kept at the birthing center and labor/delivery units where I practiced. I would flip through pages of handwritten entries, scrolling down to find my own handwriting to count the number of births, review Apgar scores and note any complications. This information would be compiled with my midwife colleague’s statistics to report to administrators. Our stellar outcomes served to remind health care bureaucrats of our value and stave off our eviction or cancellation; an ongoing risk for midwives on both sides of the Atlantic in 1960s, 1990s and 2023.
Not that this popular drama is in any jeopardy of cancellation, but I found great satisfaction in compiling the following information on Call the Midwife Weddings:
I calculate an average of 2-3 seasons between weddings, occurring with a rotation between finale and Christmas special. If the trend continues after Trixie and Matthew’s wedding, we can expect the next wedding during a Christmas Special in 2024 or 25. I wonder who. I hesitate to predict but I would love to see Nancy Corrigan finally find the family she craves.
Through illness, addiction, homelessness, and wedding plans, it is ultimately our community that becomes the family on which we rely. I have taken a part in the creation of so many families. During my midwifery career, in my community and within my blood family I am always struck and humbled by those who trust me to do the right thing. Trust is a community pact. It is not confined to births or weddings. Every time we travel the roads or stand in line at the grocery store, we trust this pact for safety and peace. Many communities are currently suffering from an erosion of trust fostered by fear mongering, but I have no intention of relinquishing my part in the pact. I still see plenty of evidence of family in my community and in my country. I remain confident and trust that the love of family and community will prevail.
