As I reflected on this week’s episode of Call the Midwife, I couldn’t help but think about all of the ways that our societies have evolved since the 1960s regarding the rights of children. We saw young Joey Fletcher rising before the sun came up, before his own school day, in order to deliver the newspaper to help financially support his family. Despite the negative impact this had on his own school attendance, Joey felt he didn’t have a choice, and continued to work even when he began feeling unwell. Joey worked hard because his father couldn’t. Right away, we noticed that Mr. Fletcher suffered from a skin condition, and likely couldn’t find work because of it. It seemed that Mr. Fletcher didn’t leave the flat, and Joey was responsible for not only the financial support of his family but also a lot of the care of his brothers. Joey’s mother had left, and his father didn’t have anyone to help him. He leaned on his child instead of reaching out to other adults for support. Joey and his father chalked up his exhaustion to the early morning work hours, ignoring a serious health problem that was brewing.

It wasn’t until Sister Veronica voiced concern over the working children in Poplar that health examinations were even done on these kids. We quickly learned that the working environment for many of these children was abhorrent. I know Sister Veronica has ruffled some feathers with her persistence and sometimes blunt attitude, but she truly wants the best for the people of Poplar. She is very public-health-minded and seems keenly aware that what is good for children is good for the community. I would hate to think what would have happened to some of these children if Sister Veronica hadn’t stepped up and organized that clinic. It was her clinic that helped identify Joey’s leukemia, and although Joey will have a tough battle ahead, there’s a real possibility that he would have gone undiagnosed until it was far too late had that clinic to examine working children not been arranged.

Young Heather O’Dwyer was in labor with her first baby before any of the adults in her life even knew she was pregnant. Trixie came to Heather’s aid during labor, and helped her welcome her baby girl into the world. I can imagine why a pregnant teen might try to hide her pregnancy from her parents, especially in the 1960s, but as we learned more about Heather’s home life, it became more apparent why she had chosen not to divulge her pregnancy. Heather had been called a mistake since the moment she was born. Let that sink in. Her literal nickname within her family was “Mistake.” While her mother states she meant this in jest, I cannot fathom the impact that had on Heather growing up. It deeply impacted Heather’s ability to accept her own pregnancy, and to bond with her new baby. Heather had assumed that as the birthing person, she could independently make the decision to place her baby for adoption. She tried to have as little contact with her baby girl as possible. She didn’t want to make this decision any harder than it had already been. I’m certain that her tenuous relationship with her own mother colored those early interactions she had with her daughter.

This episode really showcased how important it is to have a support system. There were so many ways that adequate support would have changed much in the lives of the characters this week. If Mr. Fletcher had a better support system, maybe Joey wouldn’t have been working such grueling hours. Maybe someone would have noticed Joey’s symptoms and sickly appearance sooner. If Heather had a better support system, she may not have gotten pregnant in the first place. Or, if she found herself pregnant, she might have been able to share some of her emotions–grief, fear, love–with someone she trusted. It might have unloaded some of the burden she instead carried alone.

One thing I find myself doing frequently as a midwife, and as a parent, is to seek out support systems in my community. I can’t tell you how many times I have reached out to my “internet moms group” to ask parenting questions, vent about daily stress, or even just share a hilarious parenting meme. While I haven’t met a lot of these women “in real life,” they have been some of my biggest cheerleaders. Some gathered to throw me a “mother blessing” in preparation for my children when I was pregnant. We exercise virtually together (thank you, Peloton, for influencing many of us during the pandemic!). We share the trials and tribulations and the joys of motherhood. I don’t know what I would do without that support!

I attended La Leche League meetings when my first baby was born. I was nervous to attend a breastfeeding group, because I could not exclusively breastfeed any of my children. If he was hungry during a meeting, I would have to nurse him and then give a bottle of formula. What would everyone say? Would they think less of me for needing to provide that formula? It turned out that these women ended up being some of my biggest supporters. I never felt an ounce of judgment from any of them. It was because of them that I felt confident feeding my son in public both by breastfeeding and then giving a bottle, not minding what other people might think about this.

I am always on the lookout for more groups to refer my midwifery clients to, as well. Our practice has compiled a list of postpartum support groups, breastfeeding support groups, and a few lovely places near us that have “cohorts” of other parents who have babies around the same age who meet regularly for socialization and support. I can’t imagine what it was like for people who became parents during the earlier days of the pandemic. The isolation was challenging on so many of us, but having to enter parenthood during that isolation was extremely difficult. I’m so grateful that as we ease our way out of the pandemic, these in-person support groups are resuming. What a difference it could have made to someone like Heather, to have a group of other young mothers to lean on. How different would Heather’s life be if therapy had been as normalized as it is today, and she could work through her own childhood trauma, so she doesn’t pass that on to Keely?

This was one episode where I left feeling grateful for how far we have come. There are stricter child labor laws, mental health is discussed freely, and thankfully there are many community support groups, no matter what stage of life you are in. We still have a long way to go, though. We weren’t meant to live in isolation. As we emerge from the pandemic haze of the past three years, it can be hard to re-integrate to this new normal way of living. I would encourage anyone who might be struggling to reach out to your midwife, doctor, therapist, or friends if they need support or need to be pointed in the right direction of people or groups who can offer support. We can’t do this all alone.